~Arran's POV~

My path into the shadows
It seemed so well defined
A labyrinth of darkness
No joy for me to find

I’ve always been here.  Since I was a child, my feet had been set, walking the same way my parents did before me; and their parents, before them.  Nothing ever changed in my life- I knew the path I had to walk, and I followed it.  Pain, hurt, anger, fear, self destruction… I knew all of those feelings.  But one thing was always kept from me- I had never known love.  

The path that leads to you
Is so hard for me to find
And with every step I take
I hope the gods are kind

That is, until you walked into my life.  You were stunning… you were everything I could have ever dreamt of.  The first time I saw you, I had to come closer.  I had to be near you- it was a compulsion.  And yet, as we became friends, it was harder and harder for me to see you in the same light.

You took my doubts, you took my fears
You led me through this lake of tears
So close we are but still apart
Not in mine, but in your heart

You changed everything.  You helped me through it all, helped me pull my life together.  All that had ever gone wrong was fixed by the feel of your arms around my neck, soothing me as I tried to make it through the night.  And then, I realised I was in love with you. I had always known I needed you, and you were always there.  But there was one person in my way.  

Your warm and schizophrenic heart
Still does not beat for me alone
As it still bears remembrance
Of feelings that I think are gone

Chris.  You and he had been together for a while before he left you.  That night, it was my turn to comfort you, ignoring my own pain.  You hurt so much… it was all I could do not to break down.  You were so close, but loved someone else.  Every time I tried to come nearer, you would do something, or say something, else that reminded me how in love you were with Chris.

Everyday I hope and pray
For your love and sense
That you would come into my arms
And give our love a chance

Everyday, I would watch you, taking care of you, making sure nothing else happened to you.  And everyday, I would hope that sometime, soon, you would realise I was here.  Gradually, you healed.  Gradually, you began to realise I was there- but not for the reasons I would have liked.  Instead of loving me, you were taking care of me again.  I didn’t want you to see me cry- I wanted to stay strong.  

You took my doubts, you took my fears
You led me through this lake of tears
So close we are but still apart
Not in mine, but in your heart

Again, I found myself crying in your arms.  Everything became too much to bear, and I needed someone… I needed you.  You would hold me every night again, and I would feel safe.  And again, our friendship grew stronger.  Nothing could ever come between us- except my love.  I couldn’t stand to be around you anymore.  Feelings hurt too much, so I shut them off.  I cut you out of my life.  

Is there someone who can lead me
Out of this fate, into the light?
Is there someone who can guide me
Through the lake of tears I cried?

I know I shouldn’t have.  You were all I had left, but you hurt more than anything else.  I needed someone who loved me, loved me like I loved them- and someone who could tell me that.  I needed to break out of my routine, change my path.  You could have done that.  You were my everything and now you are gone.  Not of your own choice, but because of mine.  I’m sorry…

You took my doubts, you took my fears
You led me through this lake of tears
So close we are but still apart…

You changed everything for me, but I still can’t take this.  Being so close to you physically, but so far from your love… I can’t do this.  I love you Corey, and will forever.  But don’t try to change this.